Saturday, February 1, 2020

Keep Going // It's Worth It

Welcome, my friends!

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Yeah... This isn't Isengard, I'm not a Hobbit, and you're not Gandalf. And this is February 2020. I gotta be honest, though, my post today isn't anything of minor Gif-full consequence. These are some thoughts I've had during the month of January. 

For anyone doubting themselves, this is for you. 

Not just writers.



Sometimes you feel like you're getting nowhere.

That you're running in place, exhausting yourself but not making any progress.

That you're pushing forward, but the only thing you're straining is your energy.

That you're swarmed by work and the thing you're passionate about is crushed beneath it.

You've just run out of words you can use. Or the thoughts. Or the passion.

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You realize, slowly, that this isn't going to be as easy as you thought. We have to make due with knives, painstakingly carving words into our manuscript. Or strokes into the art. Or strides to the walk.

It takes centuries.

I had a goal to write 20,000 words in January, to finish Magnolia Sun and thus free myself to chase down the closest plot bunny (they're trying to abduct me, and it's so RUDE).

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(Honestly tho, the plot bunnies are BAD right now, and poor Magnolia Sun is suffering for it).  

One thing I have on my bullet journal is where I mark in how many words I wrote for the day. Well, with school, running, and social events I haven't had much time for writing. 

Slash through the "word count" section.

Failed this day. 

Red pens EVERYWHERE.

So when I sat down to write Magnolia Sun the other night, to actually finish the dear thing, I suddenly felt discouraged. 

I was making NO progress on this thing, was I?

I would never FINISH this thing, would I?

Would it ever amount to anything than another lump of words that I had to edit? 

Because my style has morphed so much in the last year that I'm afraid it's bad, and I'm afraid that there's nothing rescuable for this novel, that the words will never be accepted by anyone except myself and those closest to me.

Lies.

It's this nasty, smol but ear-piercing creature that says:

We 

Can't

Do. 

This.

You all know about that Crisis of Writing I had last spring? Well, it's coming back to haunt me now. I've done only what I've wanted with writing, and yet I'm still concerned about what it's going to look like to other people. I want my writing to have a purpose. 

But I feel like I'm going nowhere.

I know I'm not alone in this feeling. Every writer comes across this at some point in time or another. Every artist is their own worst critic. Every person wonders if they can really do this. 

That doesn't make it any easier.

Friends. When you write, and when you think you're getting nowhere, when you're discouraged because your book is STILL NOT DONE, when it seems like all you will receive is rejection either from yourself or from publishers or the WORLD . . . 

Just remember, for the sake of all of us, that you are making more progress than you've ever made before. Every sentence counts, even if it takes you ten years to write the novel, even if it takes you twenty, even if you NEVER finish the novel. 

You have to keep going. Even if you're terrified. 

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Recently, I read one of J.R.R. Tolkien's letters to his son, Christopher (these can be purchased on Amazon, I believe). He tells his son, that even in the midst of war, he must remain his hobbitish characteristics, to retain every piece of himself he can in the midst of this war. 

Tolkien was terribly busy during the war, if you read his letters. But somehow, he found himself time to write. It took him YEARS.

Even we must retain our hobbitishness. We must fight for our courage. Bilbo was terrified to go into that cave of gold, where he knew a dragon lay. We are terrified to write, but we think that we must try. 

We're terrified to step out of our holes. And those holes don't have to be about writing. It can be the everyday fight between that which is good and that which is evil.

We're not alone in this fight.

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You are writing what no one has ever DARED to write before, and for that, I commend you. 

You are living a life that God has lovingly given to you. And no one else have ever lived a life like it.

Fight. Fight to write. Fight to live. Because the world is going to do it's best to suppress you. YOU'RE GOING TO DO YOUR BEST TO SUPPRESS YOU. 

Don't give in. 

Keep going because you love it. 

Keep going because they need you to.

Keep going because YOU need you to. 

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Keep carving deeper. A little bit at a time, you're going to make progress. You're going to see yourself get stronger. You will see barriers crumble away. Keep fighting for your passion, keep pressing forward.

It's there. You just have to find it.

And remember. That you aren't alone in this fight.

"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

> 2 Corinthians 12:9

He will be with you. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Snapper Out.

Saturday, January 25, 2020

Bullet Journaling // Organized Doodles

Greetings loverly peoples. 

Also internet stalkers.

And robots. 

I welcome you to Snapper. Generally I would've come up with a good blog post idea by now, but at this point I'm scraping something together. I had more inspiration during the week, you know, when I have no time to do anything about it?

Because you get a research paper and then you also get sick. 

Me:

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Yeah.

Life's funny that way.

To the snarky, life will be snarky. 

So. First of all, I've decided to start posting on Saturdays, because I simply don't have time during the week with all the hoopla of school and people to do anything substantial with my leftover time. Besides, no one has school on Saturdays, so hopefully this works for all of us. 



Now, in light of the fact that inspiration on saturdays is ded-spelled-without-an-a, I've prepared a smol something from pre-made inspiration. My bullet journals. 

I know I'm kind of depriving you of gifs this way. 

But here are pretty pictures. 

> The Notebook



This is my bullet journal. Originally, I had planned on it being a combo of doodles and random thoughts. The first page is covered in some sort of space poetry of my poor, sad mc of a plot bunny far, far away. 

Then I decided to be organized. 

So you know, when the research paper and being sick shows up, you don't get a whole lot of this:

School: Hey, you know that math assignment? Yeah, ik ik there's a research paper, don't blame me, but there's also math.

Life: And don't forget about LIFE EVENTS.

Ike: EDIT MY BOOK.

Me:

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Right. So thus began the bullet journaling. It really got going in November, when I thought hey let's micromanage my time if I don't micromanage my plot.

It actually worked out really well and Ike didn't yell at me the whole time.

Disclaimer: Okay, school is really not that evil to me, but I'm going to make fun of it anyway okay. :P

> Monthly Cover Pages





The artistic aspect of this is really a bonus for me. Yes, I need inspiration from other peoples, so I'll grab some from the internet. If someone else had a similar idea, I promise I'm not trying to plagiarize you I'm just inspired by you so don't sue me.

But you should also know that some of these are originally mine. 

Clear?

Clear.

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Rant of fear over.

Each month generally has an artistic theme that I try to follow. December was Christmasy and wintery. January was all about feathers. And February is about space.

It's extremely relaxing to do the art for these. Although there's a tension too. Because . . . like... what if it's not perfect and I miss or the moon looks like a slice of cheese or the colors clash and AGH WHY DO WE DO THIS SO MUCH STRESSSS.

> Weekly Layout

January Week 5 (for example. This is mine)

February Week 3 (And this is also mine)

This one was DEFINITELY inspired by someone else but hey, that one person out there, you're super cool and I wanted to be too. :)))))))  >>>>> February Week 4 (also my favorite one I've done so far)

Okay, so this is how I organize my week. However many words I've managed to write that day, I stuff into the wordcount bin. The Bondservants are a devotional I'm doing with my youth group, and if I plan on doing on that day, I put a gold sticker there. 

That does not guarantee that I'll do it.

If I want to try to work out, I put the black dot there. 

Again.... no guarantees. 

Time mocks me.

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And finally, the events shelves tells me if anything in particular is going on that day that I should probably bear in mind as I mentally plan out my day.


> The Habit Tracker (*cough* Sorry. Hobbits...)

November 2019

January 2020

February 2020 (this one is very much mine too)

So here is where I try to make myself more of an overachiever.

Here's how it goes.

Me: Hey, have you done this thing today?
Also me: Pff. Read? No.
Me: Well, you can't check it off the box if you don't do it.
Also me: You are wise. I shall do all the things. *checks off box*

That's really the most of it. 

Some things I can't get to. Like reading. And you can't exercise if your sick, turns out. But I like the colors, and the little things I get to fill in. It makes my bullet journal a bit more interactive. 

(Got the idea for this from Nicole @ Legend of a Writer hither)

And that, dearest everyone, is a glimpse into my bullet journal. I would've given you more but I think this'll do for now. I might give you more when it comes to be March / April time, if ya'll liked this one. 

By then it'll be warrrm out. 

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Ahhh can't wait.

But for now. 

I will catch you all next Saturday, within which we will be another week closer to one of two things. 

A) Our doom. 

B) Our victory.

And I don't think that A is an option. Go rock this thing called life and let me know how it went. 

Snapper out.